By Antionette Meeks of Cairn Guidance, a Dove Self-Esteem Project Partner
I loved to teach. I loved to see my students learn. I enjoyed seeing their faces light up and their eyes sparkle when they would grasp a new concept, share an opinion, or participate in small or large group activities. I celebrated with them as they enthusiastically shared about an event or accomplishment outside of school. When we laughed together, it could be quite the bonding moment. When they suffered a personal loss, loss of a classmate, or experienced some devastation in the world within we live, I felt it with them.
Young people spend the larger part of their waking hours in school for at least nine or ten months a year. Over the course of a school year, students experience many joys and challenges. As an educator, we are there to celebrate their joys and support them through their challenges.
We may have become educators because we love to teach. We soon learn we are much more than the facilitator of knowledge. The individuals we greet, at the bus or parent pick-up, student parking area, in the halls on the playground, on the field or court, or at our door and seated in front of us, are human beings. They are human beings with feeling and needs, confidence and insecurities, and joys and disappointments, etc. Ultimately, we care for our human beings intellectually, emotionally, mentally, or physically.
Why did I become an educator? I became an educator to change lives, open up possibilities, and help well educated students create their futures. The realization that students cannot hear me if I cannot really see them and gain at least a basic understanding of their needs was a guiding understanding. I wanted them to learn my subject matter, but they may have had a roadblock. Just as they did not know about my life outside of school, I did not know theirs beyond events they might share.
I remember one of my students telling me that when their family (consisting of their mother, a sister, and possibly another sibling) moved to the area, they were homeless or unhoused. They told me that they lived in their vehicle, a car. The mother made them promise not to tell anyone for fear of the children being taken away from her. This particular student came to school just like any other student and always classroom ready. We would sometimes talk before class. Just minor chitchat. I never detected any concerns. This was a happy, well adjusted, and purposeful young person. The student shared their story with me after the family moved into a home. It was obvious at this point that the student had had concerns but was very well supported and encouraged by their mother. The mother tried to make their life normal.
I also remember a set of twins that lived with their grandparents because their parent was incarcerated. The grandparents lived on a fixed income and struggled to care for the twins. The grandparents began participating in illegal activities in order to provide for the twins. The twins soon either slept under their beds or in closets because of the people knocking on the door at night. They began to fall sleep in their different classes because true sleep was elusive at home. They were afraid of harm and also of being taken away from their grandparents. These were students whose grades and attention spans began to plummet. These were not my students, though, their story touched me. They showed up to school more so because it was a safe place. I think they wanted to learn but were tired and fearful. How do I know about their story? Concern by teachers and administrators led to the discovery of the situation and, a long story short, help provided to the family.
Then, there was the student who would act out on a Thursday and/or Friday every other week. The following Monday would also be a bit difficult. I saw the student one day after school and struck up a conversation, as was my habit with students. I discovered that the student spent every other weekend with their non-custodial parent and they did not get along. I did not know how recent the student’s parents had divorced or whether there was unfortunate drama, or chatter from one parent about the other. I do know this student felt angst and anger. I followed up with the school counselor and took note as one of this young person’s teacher.
Many of us have dealt with the tragic loss of a student, whether by illness, accident, or murder. We hurt for the student we lost, the family and friends, and school family. These three scenarios remind us that we are teaching very real human beings who sometimes experience adult issues as young people. It is truly the village that supports them and shows them that we believe in them and they have a future. We cannot control life events, but we can be a positive influence.
We all have student stories. It’s the ah-has, accomplishments, great stories they share, and the many positive moments we hold dear.
We want our students to flourish and to achieve at their very best. Sometimes, we cannot impact them intellectually. That is when we have to realize that in order to teach them our subject matter, we have to support them mentally, emotionally, or physically.
The Dove Self-Esteem Project’s Confident Me! and associated programs help us support our students, by helping them increase their self-esteem and body confidence. It’s not subject matter, in the purest sense, but lessons that help us to teach our subject matter.
To receive all of the Dove Self-Esteem Project curricula mentioned in this blog, complete the reach form HERE.
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